


I Have Been Missing Your Voice

by BleuStrawberriez



Category: DCU, DCU (Comics), New Teen Titans
Genre: F/M, Hopeful Ending, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Mirage Fix-It, Past Rape/Non-con, Past Relationship(s), Rape Aftermath
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-24
Updated: 2019-08-24
Packaged: 2020-09-25 18:56:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,775
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20376487
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BleuStrawberriez/pseuds/BleuStrawberriez
Summary: "I thought she was you." He didn't recognize his own voice. The ragged edges that turned it into a low keen. The pain that had caused his throat to tighten and tremble now audible in his words. "God, Kory. I thought she was you."





	I Have Been Missing Your Voice

"Dick. I am sorry." Kory's voice was soft. Her fingers curled into fists. Flickers of sharp emerald light sparked from the depths of her clenched fists. Her eyes burned brighter. Shiny with tears.

"Kory...What-?" Dick shuddered. Struggled to contain his own fears as she stood before him. Her back straight. Shoulders tight with tension. Her feet just barely touching the ground. Hair trailing around her in thick curling locks of gleaming red-gold.

"I should not..." Kory swallows and Dick takes in the sight of her. His throat dry and mind feeling strangely distant. "I should not have reacted as I did. I was angry." Kory smiles. The curve of her lips a surprisingly bitter and self-deprecating thing. It was an expression that looked wrong on her face. "We were falling apart, my love. At least...I felt as though I had lost you. Some aspect of you."

"Kory. Don't." He could feel his chest tightening. Fear and panic fluttering through him. "You don't have to-"

"But I must!" Kory's voice rose in a near shout. Her eyes flared brighter. Faint trails of heat drifted from her hair in soft whirls of energy. "I was angry. Furious over a betrayal that did not exist. That woman, Mirage, kidnapped me. Locked me away and attempted to seduce you. She used my body. Made you and our friends think that she was me. I thought..."

Here, Kory's voice breaks and tears trail down her cheeks. Dick's breath catches and he feels an old and familiar grief wind its way through him at the sight. But before he can say or do anything. Or even make an attempt. Kory's back straightens slightly from where she'd begun to curl into herself. Strength drawn from somewhere deep inside of her. "I thought that she'd stolen you away from me. I was afraid and instead of seeing what had been done. Instead of comforting you. I hurt you."

There was a desperation to her words. To the way she held her body before him.

"I forgot myself. In my own grief and rage. I was angry at her for what she'd done to me. The way she continued to violate me after. I was..angry at you and our friends for not knowing that something was wrong then. I chose to take my anger out on you. I should not have ignored what Mirage was doing to you."

Dick twisted slightly. Turned away from Kory's visible grief and heart-ache. His back bowing as he shouldered the weight of her emotions.

"She didn't. Kory." Dick's breath caught in his throat. "She didn't do anything to me. Didn't make me do anything. I..."

"Dick." He couldn't bring himself to look at her. Could hear the bone-deep sorrow that clung to her words. "Are you saying that you wanted it? That you knew who- what- she was and willingly laid with her?"

"No! No, I..." Dick choked on his words. Turned, desperation-terror-nausea caused his limbs to tremble. And why was he afraid? Why.... Nothing had happened. Not really.

"Then you must listen to me, my love. She hurt you." Kory's voice grew softer. Gentler. She moved a single step closer. Still hovering in place before him. Skin gleaming in the artificial light of the bulbs above them. But she paused. Didn't do more than that. Some small distant part of Dick understood her reticence. The reason for her distance. But a much larger part of him hurt at the physical rift between them. "You did not know. I was wrong to insist that you should have. For would I have recognized her if she'd come to me in your form? Would I have known that the man I kissed, the man I made love to, was not the man I loved? I could not have. She did not know me. But she knew how to be me. And she took advantage of you."

Dick shuddered at that. Kory's words were a gentle admission. Softened by the curl of grief that wound its way through her. The simmering rage that fluttered along the edges of her form. Everything she felt was visible. Laid bare for him to see. Dick knew that she hurt over this. That some part of her blamed herself for her reaction.

And...

He loved her. It still hurt to look at her. He'd trusted Kory. He'd wanted to marry her once.

But he couldn't stand to look at her now.

Mirage had come into their lives from some distant future and torn them apart. Revealed hidden insecurities and fears that Dick hadn't known existed. Used his feelings, the trust that he'd held for Kory, to live out her fantasies at his expense. She'd taken everything that he'd loved about Kory and twisted it. She'd inserted herself so thoroughly into his life. Kissed him. Touched him. Mirage had gone so far as to alter his appearance to her liking.

There was a part of him that didn't know how to act around Kory now.

He'd thought that Miriam was Kory. He didn't know how to deal with that.

Dick knew that Mirage was gone now. But there was a significant part of him that was still afraid. He couldn't help but worry that his friends weren't themselves. If Mirage could take his girlfriend's form and fool him....then Dick couldn't trust that he'd know friend from foe.

"I thought she was you." He didn't recognize his own voice. The ragged edges that turned it into a low keen. The pain that had caused his throat to tighten and tremble now audible in his words. "God, Kory. I thought she was you."

"I know." Two simple words and Dick nearly trembled at the strength of the emotions that shone through them. Kory's face, beautiful and beloved even now, was twisted with grief. Her eyes brighter and more luminous than usual. Her shoulders shook slightly underneath the weight of her emotions.

He loved her. The sight of her hurt him and raised fears that Mirage had created within him. But it hurt much more to put Kory through so much pain. Dick shifted slightly as he rocked from foot to foot.

"Kory, I'm so-"

"No! Do not apologize." Kory's voice rose as she lit up in a breathtaking display of power. Her eyes burning brighter. The familiar freckles scattered across the bridge of her nose and cheeks shimmered with a faint heat-haze.

"I'm hurting you." Dick swallowed his own grief. His pain and fear. Struggled with the need to soothe another's hurts.

"I am hurt, yes. I am grieving." Kory shook her head. Her hair bouncing, red-gold sparks dripping from her curls to pool on the ground beneath her. Scorching the floor tiles beneath her. "But it is a pain that I welcome, Dick. For I have hurt you just as much. It is a pain that will remind me of how I wronged you. For I have wronged you and I can only attempt to do better from now on."

Kory's eyes showed her pain. But determination shone within them.

"I know your pain. Before we met, I was violated many times by beings just as cruel. My time with the Citadel was not kind. They never..." Here Kory paused and Dick could see the anguish that settled on her features. "They never had another hurt me in the guise of someone I loved. But they turned my sister against me. They filled her heart with bitterness and fear. With anger. Fostered cruelty within her and saw us fight for simple pleasures. Luxuries, they said." Kory spat the last word out. Anger settling along the curve of her mouth. Wound into the broad span of her shoulders, the tension along the bulging muscle in her arms. It shone in the flickering light of her starbolts.

"Kory. What happened to you was terrible."

"Yes. And I have grown stronger. Because of it. Despite it." Here, she drew closer to him. Hands outstretched. Not quite touching him.

Nothing more than an offer. It was a suggestion that Dick could take her hand.

A decision that she was leaving entirely up to him.

Dick reached out, tentatively, delicately, and took her hand in his. Watched with shadowed eyes as she gently cupped his hands within the cradle of her own.

They were warm. The texture of Kory's skin familiar but nevertheless alien against his. Dick kept his senses focused on them. The glimmering dots of her freckles. The lingering scent of burned ozone that clung to her. The dew-drop heat that lingered in the nooks and crannies of her hands. It didn't take much to remember that they were near invulnerable. They could crush boulders with ease. Heat flared and flickered along them depending on Kory's mood and environment. Light, shimmering a vibrant and ethereal green and capable of burning through steel, usually clung to them with the same ease that heat shuddered above black tarmac during an unusually hot Gotham summer. Here they cradled his hands with an almost obscene gentleness.

"You are stronger than the woman who intentionally hurt you." Kory's voice wavered here. Her deeply held emotions clinging to the words that fell from her lips. Dick looked up at the sound. "Stronger than the woman who in the midst of her own fear and anger unintentionally brought further pain into your life."

Her smile broke across her face like the dawn. Soft and gentle in it's beauty. Everything about her bright and dusted with the light of the sun. Hair a shining red-gold. Skin golden and glorious. Eyes the same brilliant hue of her starbolts.

"Kory..." Dick shuddered at the kindness in Kory’s eyes. It warmed something inside of him. At the same time as it caused him to try and withdraw from her. He didn't deserve her kindness. Not here. Not in this.

"I hurt you. Because I was hurting. I was afraid that I was losing you. I was angry at your perceived betrayal and Mirage's continued violations of my person." Kory squeezed his hands. The movement delicate because she'd always been aware of her strength and the comparative fragility of humans.

"I didn't make things easier for you." Dick couldn't help the guilt that rose up within him. "I should have-"

Kory shook her head.

"We have made this clear already, Dick. You could not have known. It was unfair of me to assume that you should have known. Shapeshifters rely on their ability to fool their targets. Mirage's own abilities lay with illusions. She manipulated you. Abused your trust of me. Of your teammates." Kory's voice, still strong underneath the swell of emotions, grew hoarse as she spoke. "You thought that she was me. Made you believe that you were partners. And she continued to violate your faith in those you worked with. For she toyed with us. Took my form and played with our reputations and personal lives within the public eye."

The misty haze that had clung to him during their conversation lifted slightly. Dick found that he could focus on her a little more now.

"I know." Her voice grew softer here. Her gaze imploring as they caught his. "I know that you will not allow yourself to believe me. I blamed myself too. For all that was done to me by the Citadel. For the loss of my sister's love and trust. It has taken me many years to achieve some small measure of peace. But, Dick, I have found it." Kory smiled down at him. Her hands had grown warmer around his. But this was a gentler warmth.

"How?" He didn't recognize the sound of his own voice. The hollow grief that clung to it in the wake of long nights patrolling Blüdhaven's streets. The desperation that lingered in the still silence of his empty apartment. It was a ragged sound. A lonely one.

"I will not lie to you. It was not easy." He could see the misery on Kory's face as she admitted that. "There are still some days where I cannot stand another's touch. My thoughts linger on those days on what was done to me. But..." Kory straightened here. Dick could see the strength, the conviction, that filled her as she continued. "These hard days will pass and you will find it easier to smile and laugh. You will look up and marvel at the beauty around you. Our friends will not abandon you and you will find it easier to trust in others. Be it their touch or their presence."

Kory shifted, hands releasing his with a gentle squeeze, and slowly spread her arms. Dick faltered. Blinking and staring up at her. There was a soft sort of anxiety on her face. Hesitation in her eyes. Tension that lingered on the corners of her lips.

It took a moment but Dick found himself shuffling forward into her arms. Felt them close around him. His cheek pressed against her collarbone. Her chin against the crown of his head. The embrace was warm and familiar. Comforting even. Kory's shirt was soft. The familiar scent of her detergent mixed with a scent that was undeniably Kory.

"It will not be perfect. But nothing is. We must take our joys in the littlest things when we can." Her breath ruffled his hair. Her fingers curled into the fabric of his shirt. "But I know that you will."

"How?" Dick couldn't help but ask again. He felt Kory shudder slightly against him. Felt rather than saw her smile as she squeezed him a little harder. He didn't know how to feel about the confidence in her voice.

He struggled to get up some mornings. There were others where he couldn't look at his old Nightwing suit. He'd hidden it away in the furthest corner of his home. Couldn't quite bring himself to dispose of it yet.

But there were still days where his skin crawled at its close proximity to him. He'd long since gotten rid of the mullet that Mirage had styled for him. But there were still mornings where, sleepy and bleary-eyed, that Dick could see it in his reflection. Feel the weight of the tail brush against his back with the slightest movement of his head.

He couldn't even stomach the thought of wearing his hair passed his chin now. Never mind, his ears.

"Because you are Dick Grayson, the strongest man I know." Kory's smile was audible in her voice now. "I have lived through my terrors. I refused to allow my captors the pleasure of breaking me. I know that you will do the same. You will not allow her to win. And some day?" Kory leaned down, pulled him closer, humming into his ear as she stroked his back. "Some day you will look back and stand straighter. You will look your memories in the face and that same fear will not linger. Mirage will not have you."

Dick swallowed, tears pricking at the corners of his eyes. His throat tight and heart full of some emotion that he couldn't name. He nodded.

Kory's voice was warm and full of confidence.

Dick loved her. He'd always love the brave Tamaranean princess that had broken free of the chains that bound her and chosen to live her life to the fullest on an alien planet, when she could have tried to return home. But he knew now that love would never be the same. Some small part of him couldn't help but mourn it.

But another swelled with relief at the knowledge.

Kory's hand was warm and heavy on his back. The press of her body hot and comfortable against his. But her touch was gentle. Firm and soothing.

Dick knew just by the touch of her hand, the confidence in her voice, and the way Kory held herself even as she hugged him. That she felt the same.

Things would never be the same.

But they'd get better.

Maybe not now. Dick didn't know if he'd be able to trust her as deeply as he had before Mirage.

Things were far too different now.

But different didn't mean forever. Dick would heal some day. He'd be able to look at himself in the mirror and smile. He'd be able to greet Kory and share simple touches again.

She had and so could he.

Dick could do his best to claw his way back to that place they'd once shared in one another's hearts. Kory had all but promised to do the same. They could do this together and perhaps meet each other half-way wherever they were going.

**Author's Note:**

> Warning for some of the above fic. I didn't think it warranted a tag of its own given the ones I'd already used and how brief the discussion is. But Kory talks a little bit about her time with the Citadel and what happened between her and Komand'r.
> 
> This was an interesting fic to write overall. I wanted to cover the aftermath of the Mirage Incident in a way that was, hopefully, understanding of both sides involved. Kory had her reasons for reacting in the way that she did and I tried my best to keep in mind that at the time of the Mirage arc she was under a lot of stress because of Mirage and her own fears/anxieties/insecurities rearing their ugly heads. It doesn't make what happened acceptable nor good in any way. But she reacted the way she did for a reason and that's what I tried to convey here as she tries to deal with the aftermath of that initial reaction.


End file.
